What is Mindful Parenting? (And How Can You Get Started Today?!)
As parents, we do our best to respond to our children’s needs - from loving support to setting boundaries. Although we may be doing the best we can, many of us become lost in comparisons, overwhelmed by frustration, and/or consumed with worry (I know I have!). When we are caught up in these thoughts and emotions, we can lose sight of what is happening right in front of us with our child (and ourselves). We step into a reactive space, making choices from a place of strong emotions and persuasive, unhelpful thoughts. We may also make choices from a place of fear, preventing our young people from experiencing the difficult emotions that are necessary for growth, grit, and resilience.
Mindful parenting is the exploration of learning to respond to what is happening in a present moment rather than becoming hijacked by either our or our children’s emotions.
Mindful parenting is not a road map, nor does it offer answers on “how to” parent. What it does offer is a space to turn inward when difficult emotions arise. Through this, we become more present and responsive to those we love most in this world, our children. Mindful parenting practices gradually train our minds to be more present. They allow us space to make decisions with more clarity. Although mindfulness may not always lead to relaxation or calm, these practices help us to foster more compassion and empathy in our role as parents and for our children.
How can you get started with Mindful Parenting today?
Pause, Breathe and Drop-In
Create a pause by noticing your breath and gently elongating both your inhale and exhale. Notice the sensations breath creates as it moves through the body. If your mind wanders away (and it will) gently bring your attention back to your breathing.
Drop-In- Become curious about your internal experiences and practice greeting them with the energy of a smile. (The smile part may take some time! Be gentle, this is a practice.) The intention of this practice is to be with what is arising internally rather than trying to get rid of or be swept away by it.
Practice Gratitude
Take the time to pause and connect with what is working. You are doing so many things that work!
Share what you are grateful for with your child. This can be through text messages, a note, during a meal, or on a car ride.
Explore being present with your words and how they feel in your mind and body.
Set an Intention
Before entering a conversation or experience with your child ask yourself “What are my intentions?” Some intentions may include: “to listen”, “to create a brave space”, or “to clearly and calmly state expectations.” Your intention may simply be to take a breath when you feel frustration brewing. Or you may wake up in the morning and set the intention that you will spend time with your child without a device or multi-tasking. One of my favorite intentions is: “Each time I correct my child today, I will balance it with positive reinforcements along with sharing qualities I love about them.” Make this your own, be creative and be gentle with yourself in the practice.
The practice of Mindful Parenting can feel a bit tricky to implement in the beginning. You may wish to support yourself in getting started by creating sticky notes around the house, setting alarms on your phone, following a guided video, and/or partnering with an accountability buddy. We know that the more we practice mindful parenting (from a non-judgmental place), the more accessible it becomes. The effort is worth it. Research shows that these practices assist parents in supporting their children to better handle conflict, decision making, and emotional regulation. Mindful parenting also shifts our relationship to the role of parenting and the stress that inherently comes with it.
Be kind, be gentle, be patient, be curious. This is a powerful practice that we are all capable and worthy of exploring!
Looking for more mindful parenting support or an accountability partner? Julie Sack provides individual mindful parent coaching and group training at Pivot Psychological Services.
Struggling with managing your child’s anxiety, depression, or emotional dysregulation, reach out to our team at Mind Chicago to schedule your intake appointment today.
Mind Chicago would like to thank Julie Sack, Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Practitioner and expert at Pivot Psychological Services in Chicago, for sharing her beautiful and helpful insight with the Mind Chicago community through this article.
