What To Do In An Emotional Crisis

Many of us can recall a time when we’ve felt very intense emotions… one of those moments of emotional “crisis” where we had that terrible, sinking feeling that “this moment will never end.” And in these moments, it feels nearly impossible to do the things that need to be done. Although emotions serve a critical function in human existence by keeping us safe, helping us make decisions, and helping others understand us better, they can also - quite literally- prevent us from doing these exact things! When we (or our kids) experience intense and overwhelming emotions, it can hinder our ability to make important decisions, communicate clearly, and act in ways that align with what’s important to us. 

TIPP or TIP is a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skill that has gained a lot of traction online. It’s likely you and your child/teen have come across this skill on TikTok or Instagram. Why is it so popular? 1.) We love a good acronym in the U.S., and 2.) everyone can access at least one of the TIPP strategies. This skill is a crucial emotional survival technique for those who experience intense and interfering emotions. Here’s why…

When an emotional crisis hits, it might not be possible to “feel better” or “calm down” at that moment. Yet, if we act on our emotional urges during these intense periods - for example, texting something mean to our good friend when we are very upset and mad - we might make a situation worse, increase our distress, or act in ways that don’t align with who we are and how we want to be. TIPP (or TIP) helps us to get through difficult moments by using our own resources - our biology.

Now, let’s be really, really, really clear. TIP is not easy, and we (and our kids) often want to reject this strategy when we feel unsettled. That’s why making a plan and practicing this strategy many times is important. In therapy, we make it a priority to practice these (and many other) skills. For instance, we may recall and expose clients to uncomfortable thoughts or memories so we can practice this skill on purpose. Since this isn’t therapy, let’s talk about how you can start practicing TIP at home.

TIPP stands for Temperature-Intense Movement-Paced Breathing-and Paired Muscle Relaxation.

What is TIPP (or TIP)?

T: Temperature. Let’s use what nature gave us to tolerate strong emotions! 

Try leaning over a sink or surface and place cold water, ice, or a cold pack over the temples, eyes, and upper nose region for ~30 seconds. Have you ever heard of the mammalian dive reflex?  When the human body thinks it is submerged in cold water, our heart rate instinctively slows, and our breathing regulates. This engages our parasympathetic nervous system and produces a calming effect. Other ways to activate the calming effect with temperature are running cold water on your forearms, taking a hot or cold shower, chewing on ice, or holding an ice cube in your hand. 

I: Intense Movement. Engage in 20 minutes of intensive movement to reap the self-regulatory benefits.

For instance, doing a little cardio (yes, we know - everyone hates cardio) can help with the built-up energy from so many overwhelming emotions or bring a low mood up and energize the body. Movement doesn’t have to be anything fancy - you don’t need special equipment or an expensive gym membership. Simply get on your feet and run around the block, do jumping jacks, walk super fast outside, jump rope, or do whatever kind of intensive movement you can access! You don’t have to overdo it; 15-20 minutes should do the trick. (If you are in a place where intensive movement is not a comfortable fit/accessible for you or you are managing an eating disorder that is impacted by movement, by all means, please try a different TIPP strategy.)

P: Paced Breathing. The power of breath - you know it, and we love it.

Breathe deeply into your stomach. Now, try to slow down your breathing with long exhales. This activates our parasympathetic nervous system. This skill is not only powerful but also discrete - often very useful at school or work. The misnomer is that paced breathing should make you “feel better.” Remember… that’s not the point of this… it’s all about managing the moment without making it worse.

P: Progressive Muscle Relaxation. Using our body as a tool.

PMR can be done alongside the paced breathing or alone. While breathing, tense and ~relax~ different muscles in your body. If you feel consumed with extreme emotion, you might try mindfully tensing all your muscle groups at once and then releasing them into the ground, chair, or surface you are on. (Be aware that clenching one’s fists or tightening one’s body may not be safe or appropriate in all situations or for all people. For instance, teaching young people of color to clench their fists when they are having strong emotions may not be safe for them due to the racism that exists in our society. Please know that DBT invites you to use what works for you and recognizes that different strategies are necessary based on background and context.)

TIP Bonus: These skills come in handy if you are also experiencing insomnia or when you have racing thoughts at night. TIP is also helpful for anxiety, when you feel too stuck in your thoughts, or for energizing your mood during a time of depression.

What we like best about TIP is that it’s meant to help you handle difficult moments so you can keep living the way you want and doing the things that are important to you.

For extra guidance on working through intense emotions and using other DBT skills with the help of a therapist, reach out to us at hello@mindchicago.com. 

Authored by Mind Chicago therapists - Fatima Sakrani, LSW and Lee Wells, AM, LCSW