Self-Soothing is Sensational

Self-soothing is a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) skill that helps us manage difficult feelings and situations and tolerate things that we cannot change. Self-soothing is a set of techniques that use different senses of the body.  And it is critical to wellness!

Emotions can sometimes get pretty extreme. And when they do, we may engage in emotion-led behaviors we aren’t so proud of afterward. Self-soothing skills are meant to be used when you are feeling stressed, experiencing overwhelming emotions, or when you’re stuck in a situation that you feel like you can’t handle. They are particularly helpful when you need to live with your emotions without making things worse. Rather than responding in a way that may result in some negative or unhelpful consequences, try doing something that gives you pleasure or a sense of comfort (in a helpful way)! This can be something that feels comforting, nurturing, peacemaking, gentle, or mindfully kind to yourself.

A great way to think of ways to self-soothe is to use our five senses. Below are some ways folks at Mind Chicago use self-soothing with 5 senses to manage strong emotions.

Sight: Walk down a pretty street, explore nature, go to a museum, watch a travel movie or video, watch a sunrise or sunset, light a candle, buy a beautiful flower, dress up in a way that makes you feel attractive and delightful.

Hearing: Listen to music you love, pay attention to the sounds of nature (rainfall, waves, leaves rustling, hum a soothing tune, look up a relaxing instrumental playlist

Smell: Use your favorite soap/shampoo/lotion, light a candle (it’s works on so many levels!), walk around a wooded area, essential oils (yes, please!), open a window (so simple!).

Touch: Take a bubble bath, pet your pet (or someone else’s pet!), put on a super cozy outfit, have a massage, use a cold forehead compress, take a long shower, give yourself or another a hug, put clean sheets on the bed (ahhh…).

Taste: Drink a soothing drink (tea, hot chocolate, a smoothie, etc.), eat a food that reminds you of your childhood, culture, or family, indulge in a food you don’t usually spend money on such as a special piece of chocolate (if accessible), eat mindfully.

Many of us can find it difficult to give ourselves these comforts. If feelings of guilt arise, it may take some practice to allow yourself to experience these pleasures. Remember, these are simple human pleasures that everyone has a right to experience. Eventually these will become useful tools to use when you are faced with negative feelings and difficult situations.

Try a mindful self-soothing exercise this week! Breathe gently and try to fully feel the experience. :) 

For more information on self-soothing and using other DBT skills with the help of a therapist, reach out to us at hello@mindchicago.com. 

Authored by Mind Chicago therapist, Fatima Sakrani, LSW