A Dash of Dialectics
Have you ever thought about how our lives are FILLED with opposites? It snows during spring, someone you love hurts your feelings, or your favorite show makes you cry. Although opposites, both exist and both are true. A “dialectic” is just that - when two opposing things are true at once. Guess what? Our world is filled with them.
Try replacing the word “but” with the word “and” in a sentence. Sometimes we call this ‘wise mind.’
How does it feel to switch those words?
It’s normal to have conflicting feelings about a situation. With a dialectical point of view, you don’t have to choose one of your thoughts/feelings over others! You can hold and feel both at the same time. Here are a few examples:
I am tough but gentle —> I am tough and gentle
That breakup was the right thing to do, but I miss them —> That breakup was the right thing to do, and I miss them
I’m doing the best I can, but I want to do better —> I’m doing the best I can, and I want to do better
With some practice, this point of view can broaden our minds to new perspectives, bring more balance to our lives, help us manage strong emotions, and increase our compassion for ourselves!
Wise Mind can be tricky, so we offer a number of groups for your child, teen, young adult, or yourself that can help. One of our most popular child groups is our OMG - Only Makin’ Gains Group. This group helps young people learn how to manage strong emotions, develop meaningful connections, be more loving toward themselves, and communicate more effectively. We also teach out to deal with difficult situations and tolerate discomfort. Each OMG group is 6 to 8 weeks and focuses on one area of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. For example, our August 2022 group will focus on Distress Tolerance skills - or those skills that help people manage strong emotions and not make a situation worse. I bet you can already see how these skills could be helpful when returning to school!
We also offer a number of virtual young adult groups. These groups are particularly popular as they combine DBT skill development with real-life discussions of how and why being effective is so hard in relationships, at college, and at work. I love running these groups with my colleague Julie McClellan, LCSW.
If you are a parent reading this, we also offer Parent DBT Workshops. These aren’t therapy sessions - rather you participate in four interactive learning sessions on how to use DBT as a parent at home.
To learn more about dialectical thinking with the help of a therapist or join one of our groups or workshops, reach out to us at hello@mindchicago.com.
Authored by Mind Chicago therapist, Fatima Sakrani, LSW
