A Basic Parent Guide to Gender-Inclusive Language

Welcome to your basic introduction to gender-inclusive language! Using gender-inclusive language is one way you can actively work toward gender equity and justice. Using this type of language means writing, texting, and speaking in a way that includes all genders and sexes.

We understand that most folx don't intend to hurt others or do harm. Yet, using language that assumes someone's pronouns or gender can make people feel unseen, unwelcome, distressed, and othered. We know that most parents don't want young folx to feel this way. As an adult, you have already made some big shifts in your language over your lifetime. You might even call others out for not changing their language. For example, you might ask someone not to say, "That's gay." In other words, you have done this tricky work before and you can do it again!

Below are a few DOS and DON'TS to begin your gender-inclusive language journey:

❌DON'T say, "Ask the boy in the blue shirt."

🏳️‍⚧️DO say, "Ask the child in the blue shirt."

❌ DON'T say, "Listen up boys and girls."

🏳️‍⚧️DO say, "Listen up everyone!" (perhaps followed by - "it's cupcake time!" who's to say?)

❌DON'T say, "What dress will you be wearing to graduation?"

🏳️‍⚧️DO say, "What do you think you'll be wearing to graduation?"

❌DON'T say, "Hey guys, can you keep it down."

🏳️‍⚧️DO say, "Everyone, can you please keep it down, thank you!"

At Mind Chicago, we often give our clients a therapy activity or challenge for home at the end of the session. Your therapy challenge is to notice when you are using non-inclusive language and make an effort to use inclusive language on one occasion this week. As you reflect on the experience you may notice feelings of discomfort, uncertainty, or awkwardness. This is typical and expected. When we try new things, these feelings often arise. However, this doesn’t mean we should avoid them. Rather, approach the feelings with curiosity and keep practicing! We know change can feel uncomfortable AND discomfort is the perfect environment for change to happen!

Expanding how you think about and use language is akin to expanding your compassion and kindness for others. 💚 Need more support? hello@mindchicago.com

Written by Lee Wells, AM, LCSW